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Tuesday, February 03, 2015

My Album Art

Monday, February 02, 2015

The long story about your short penis.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Facts People Never Tell You

1. Dog poop will not fertilize your lawn unless you mix it with cut grass and let it naturally decompose. 2.The Affordable Care Act contains many provisions that aren't as well known. For example, it created the National Prevention Council that coordinates all Federal health efforts to promote active, drug-free lifestyles. It funds scholarships and loans to double the number of health care providers in five years. It cuts down on fraudulent doctor/supplier relationships. It also requires background checks of all nursing home staff, to prevent abuse of seniors 3.Shaving your pubic area increases your chances of spreading an STI 4.A man can reduce his chances of getting prostate cancer by having at least four orgasms a week. Take care of your man.

Sunday, September 08, 2013

NEW SMILING ON THE WAY

And we sit here in the dark waiting. It is quite it is still, but death is stealth. For in some distant corner lays a man in his bed...smiling.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Start Stretching Your Face

A new smile is coming on your face.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Broken Heart

Don't worry I'm a doctor
I can mend your broken heart
It feels like its in pieces
But baby that's just the start

I don't know who did this
But soon he'll be caught
I may not be a healer
Or able to read your cards
But don't worry I'm a doctor
And I can mend your broken heart

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Smiling: Hell or High Water

The rain is cold and dreary. It will be hours before anyone of real importance finds me. I made it this far, but the loss of blood has brought me to this point: Lying face first in a dark alley right where that dame dropped me. I can vaguely remember what she looked like but damn if I don't remember what she said. When she pushed me out the car and tossed me the pistol. "You've got one bullet left hun, free yourself and relieve us." I haven't even been able to reach for my gun. The way I figure it, someone shmuck will find me dead in the rain. No cash, no ID just a body. I push every ounce of my body to reach for that gun. If I'm lucky I wont be here to see it happen. My hand extends to the gun. Just then a boot slams on my hand. The boot swiftly slides the gun away and knocks my head in. Sure hope it made them smile.

I awake in the window side of train cab. I must have been out for days. My body is bandaged to hell and my head still hurts. My vision starts to come in. A burly man is sitting next to me and before me is a familiar face. "FUCKING APRIL!" I try to get up but the pain seduces me as well as the man next to me. "I know your angry for what you think I did. But I made my choice. Be glad we found you." I look to my side that ugly brute of a muscle job. "You should have let me die." She looked at me and asked "What do you think actually happened in there? Do you remember?"
"Well my weak love, just bits and pieces. Maybe you can tell me." My hands paw body looking for a smoke. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a pack and tosses them to me.
"You should quit ya know they could kill you" she says
"I'm not one to back down from a challenge"
"Do you know where he is?"
"He?" I exhale
"Yeah, Scats."
"Last time I saw him, I saw you, coincidence? I think not."
She sends a hard slap across my face.
"He's dead now"
"Dead now? Last time I checked he was supposed to be dead then.By your hands." I light up another cig in honor of my comrade.
"I DIDN"T KILL HIM!"
"Your right, it was the bullets in the gun that did it."
Another slap across my face, this one was harder.
"I loved him! I never shot him, I shot at her. She shot him. Now we cant find her!"
"Last time I checked the roster, your team was Chuck! You bitch!"
Slap three was even harder.
"Chuck had spent years hunting me down looking for ways to take the empire. For the longest time he stalked and trailed until one day he got what he wanted. I was kidnapped by Santa Claus and the creeper and sent off. My only contact appeared to be Scats but as you already know was not. So I started playing to his illusion telling him that I was ready to love and that I knew all the secrets he told me once before. Chuck bought into it. He sent for me, and brought me back here. I was forced to do what I did but underneath it all I gained access. Access to important files, documents and memos. All of which I copied and recorded elsewhere. When documents came on to your possible locations. I did my best destroy or re-route them. However, I was not press material since I was listed in the newspaper has practically dead. Thats when Limps came in. Scats introduced them but Chuck saw something else. An insider to organization as well as the heart of Scats."
"Why am I still here?"
"Because your the only one who can find her."
"Why the fuck do I care to find her?"
She leans into me. Stares me in the eyes. She pulls out from her blouse a family portrait of Obi Scats Cat's sister and her son Jack. "Chuck is sending her to take what he believes belongs to him. Scats fortune, all of it."
She looks to the floor. Then up to me. She pulled out a letter and handed it to me. "He told me if anything were to ever happen to him, to find you and give you this letter."
Her eyes started to tear up. She looked up then away out the window. "She will kill them like she did Scats. Save them, kill her." She slid a gun and wad of cash across the floor.
"Where the hell are we anyway?" I light up again
"Days east of home is all I can tell you."
"All you can tell me?"
"He always said you knew where to go."
I got up and pulled the cord. Signifying to the engineer to stop. The train came to a screeching halt. I got out and opened the envelope. However it wasn't from Scats. Scats already gave me his death letter. It was in my pocket always with my cigarettes. It read:

Dear friend of mine,

I hope your reading this letter in HELL!

Chuck

I looked up at the sign "Welcome to the Great State of New Jersey" I smiled, I was in Hell.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Title

If you hadn't noticed, the main title/picture has changed in honor of the new Smiling: The Four Seasons and to showcase the Smiling Art Work!